It’s time to come clean… come clean with the fact that I am too a victim of bullying not just verbally but physically. I wasn’t the most popular or the prettiest. I had hand me down clothing, I had out-dated clothing, items, wasn’t with the kids in my schools grade levels. I was what poverty was back in the 1990’s and early to 2000’s.
Alright let’s travel back in time to the year 1995 when I was 6 years old and in kindergarten, the time where innocents ends and reality kicks in, sadly most people don’t know it and most parents beg to differ on such subjects. I was a little redheaded girl with some features unflattering… I didn’t have perfect body I was tall and scrawny, my teeth weren’t pearly white either (guess some people aren’t born with beautiful teeth), I wasn’t rich so I went without food (snacks and so forth), I had hand me down clothing rarely was anything NEW, it was always used mostly boy clothing… Which I didn’t mind… I got along better with boys anyways. Well the one’s that were like me at least. In kindergarten I was picked on for my red hair, little did I know it was because they were jealous of it, little did I know a lot of things. I got picked on because of my cloths that still scares me to this day, I still try not to wear something too GIRLY for it isn’t me because I was picked on for wearing dresses, and such so I tend to stick to my jeans and hoodies. As the time went on and we developed in school and out of school I lacked there of the educational department for I was slow, a little behind and constantly moved from town to town between different schools causing much of an adjustment uproar when it came to making friends. I did stay between Fort River and Pelham though well the minor East Street that no longer exists, but never the less… I was always one to be picked on even by the older kids on my school bus so it wasn’t just my own school grade kids, even on social media sites to this day people still manage to poke fun and rude remarks… as to that I’ve gained self esteem issues, body issues and well society doesn’t help with those honestly but it’s more or less the peers that make you life really hell from K thru 12th grade because once you get to college it is well you already know who to hang with and who not to. It wasn’t until 7th grade after my year of staying back yes I had to stay back because I was kept out of normal classes by Fort River because they thought I had so many different learning disabilities that I never learned anything kids my age were doing in the classroom and when I fought to stay in the classroom that would cause a crap ton of issues for the school because who wants to teach a girl that can’t keep up? Pretty sad especially when I’m there to learn, so school became more of a hate relationship for me and more of a punishment. I later in the years realized that what was happening to me was in reality strengthening me to stand up and above the crowd to speak for the ones with no voice in fear of something happening. I in middle school gained friends and a minor amount of confidence to face the years of maturing into a woman… oh the joys that came with that which included dating… ahhh that was something people gossiped about and well picked on you if you dated someone outta your league or just plan WRONG for you as they apparently knew who was right for you. But ended my year with sports and school work for I was bound and determined to make it all the way for the ARMS Football team and so which I did. Only girl on the team def. gets a lot of attention good and bad. I learned real fast I was going to make a crap ton of enemies proving that girls could do anything the boys could do.
Once I entered high school I felt that I was becoming to into that sport and ventured off to Cheer for my fellow team mates who in reality HATED ME and saw that nothing better than me being off their team and well hated the fact that I was cheering for them, who knew you could be hated so much, guess it was something I was good at … I was only hated all my life practically so for that to happen it didn’t really bother me nor upset me for it gave me strength and courage to do it and prevail. In high school I didn’t belong to ANY CLICK or GROUP, for I was practically an outcast in all but got along with everyone in them, shocking right… it was at that time that I dated more and gained a new set of friends and realized my talents that were hidden. I not only became more of someone to speak up I helped people realize that it’s okay to stand above the crowd. I enabled sports, I encouraged people who were bullied to stand up for themselves but to a point, I never once suggested hurting anyone, rather than get help.
So then later when I found out I was pregnant … I still graduated school walked across the stage PREGNANT and with a dumb shit grin on my face saying I PROVED YOU ALL WRONG… accepted my diploma and we’ll never looked back until well I became a Substitute Paraprofessional and work with children like me or children that need more help, I’d rather give back than see people suffer like I did.
So as a victim of bullying I was able to overcome it by some therapy that the school made me partake in because they thought it would help, little did I know they were really trying to see if I was the one causing it since I was the lesser child that wouldn’t speak up in class in fear of being picked on or made fun of … as they said there is no stupid question except the one never asked… that’s complete and utter bullshit proven fact is they aren’t with the students after the class is over and in the halls. So if you’re nervous to ask your question wait till the end of class and talk directly to the teacher, if you’re witness to someone being bullied STEP UP say something sitting there enables it speaking up does something and show’s the person bullying that it’s not tolerated. There are many things you can do as a person to help from allowing bullying in school, public and at work… just takes sometime and confidence which I know we all have somewhere inside us.
We’ll take it from me… SPEAKING UP can be the best thing that happens to you… helps you move on forgiveness is the key to happiness don’t forgive for them but forgive for yourself…
(for those questioning to what type of bullying I encountered please feel free to contact me … as I will work on a post solely for signs of Bullying so you can be aware of what it might look like)